Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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