so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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