Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I am naked and annoyed.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
