Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Randomize
