Please, let me fuck your mom
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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