best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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