I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
He uses pillows to masturbate.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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