I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Randomize
