I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
This house was built for laser tag.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
