i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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