my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
