He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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