i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
