Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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