two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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