I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You're like the curious george of whores
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
