My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
