do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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