My friends, they love my intelligence
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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