He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
