under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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