you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
