my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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