so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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