your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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