Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
