I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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