May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
