he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
