I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
