Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
