This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
