So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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