in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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