Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
