Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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