College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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