school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
