Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
