He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
