I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
