I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Randomize
