I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
