i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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