those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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