I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
