It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
