No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
