the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
