This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
