Just mADE A PArabola og urine
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Girls should come with a carfax report
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
