Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Randomize
