Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
