also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
