Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
